Apartment Living

I will never, ever live in an apartment with someone else living above me. I don’t know why I didn’t  learn my lesson the first time. Although this is the nicest apartment I’ve had ( and also the priciest, which makes loudass annoying neighbors THAT much annoying), it’s pretty much ruined by the gargantuan douchebags that live above us.

Let me regress. The first apartment my roommate and I lived at was also similarly ruined. About two months after we moved in to our 2nd floor apartment, we got new upstairs neighbors…and a new 60 pound black lab living above us as well. It promptly began waking us up daily, around 7 am, by barking out on the balcony, or sprinting back and forth inside. I’ve never wanted to murder an animal so badly. Despite the fact that it clearly did not comply with the apartment’s pet policy (something we brought up numerous times to management during the NUMEROUS times we complained, with no luck), it was never evicted. So basically we lived out our 12 month lease in living hell, while I dreamed about throwing arsenic spiked hotdogs on to the balcony as a treat for our favorite dog. (Note: I would never poison or hurt an animal). I mean really, what makes you think a 60-70 pound black lab is suitable for apartment living? I know times are tough, but for God’s sake, have a little respect for your neighbors…and your dog. And when my roommate went up to tell them (nicely) to shut their fucking dog up, the lady was a colossal bitch.

Anyway, now we have a couple and their daughter living above us, who are the loudest people on the face of the planet. The neurotic mother vacuums and does laundry about 5 times a day. I realize that the walls are thin, but honestly, WHAT THE FUCK could you be slamming around in your room at 2 am?? I’ve seriously started wearing earplugs to bed at night because if not I will just lay there and stew. Once again, I daydream about violent things…such as going up there and throwing them off the balcony, or recently, slamming her head against the wall or breaking her feet so she can’t stomp around. Last night I had the joy of listening to them fight, because I guess when your apartment is overpriced they still can’t afford decent wall thickness.

I guess it’s my fault  for choosing to live in a second floor apartment. I’ve learned my lesson…again.